The concept of truth has so much more nuance than many of us realize. Most people will see honesty as a simple act of “not lying.” However, being truly impeccable with your word as in The Four Agreeements or the practice of satya (truth) as in The Eight Limbs of Yoga, runs much deeper for the individual and at the same time, much broader as a universal construct.

If we really paid attention to the way we speak about others and most essentially to ourselves, we would hear the reality of what we create on a daily basis. The thing is, most of us would rather swim at the surface, repeating habits that project a certain image of who or what we’re trying to be rather than just being. Here’s what that may look like:

When we become frustrated with life, frustrated with others, or frustrated with ourselves, a barrage of complaints entirely focused on circumstances surrounding the frustration or resigning to the situation itself often follows. Claims that someone else is to blame for how we feel; that our situation is always/never going to be like this or that; or the belief that we can or can’t do something we want or need; take up all of our energy and we aren’t able to see past it.

If you listen closely to the words we use, what we’re essentially saying within all of these scenarios is that we have no power of our own and in turn, are consistently choosing to give up our power to someone or something else, sometimes even the belief itself. But I ask you, if this resonates with you at all, what (or rather who) is the common denominator? Think of it this way: If you think you aren’t good enough, that is the truth you are living. If you believe you’re unworthy, that is the reality you’re choosing. If you think others matter more than you do, then that is where you have decided your life begins. As a result, we are not at fault and not to blame so instead we remain in a cycle of taking no accountability wondering why we’re unsatisfied with others, ourselves, or with life.

There is a reason I shared specific experiences when writing to my father in Thirty Years. After all this time and practice of self-awareness and self-realization, I recognized the part I played in my struggles to find clarity. I shed light on when I began to choose fear, when I started to hide, how I preferred to be invisible, and all the suffering my own choices created. Sharing this with him and with all of you is my effortful attempt at embodying my truth to continuously break those old habits of living inauthentically to me.

This is why I teach journaling techniques first and foremost in each private session and workshop. Clients first learn how to identify their deeper thoughts and perspectives that lie beneath the surface of their complaints.

So if you are ready and willing to see the part you play as the common denominator in every circumstance in your life, I ask that you first be open to what you’re willing to see. Observe your habits, your language, and most importantly any statements that focus on those around you without judgement. You are responsible for your thoughts and actions while everything and everyone else is out of your control.

Keep in mind, this step is essential but it’s only the first step in developing any boundaries you may need to establish for yourself. Because although we’re talking about taking ownership of our own practice of truth, that does not give others a pass to treat us however they wish. Many of us aren’t aware of our boundaries until they are crossed, but we have to be willing to draw the line once we recognize them. If you aren’t able to be honest with yourself about what’s in your own power, you won’t be able to see where you give your power away or how you let yourself be treated.

So when you repeatedly talk about other people’s actions, first shift your attention to your own. What are you contributing to the situation and if you feel violated, betrayed, disrespected, bored, unsatisfied, out of balance, insecure, annoyed, or frustrated, what can you do about it? What can you do differently? This is the starting point to identifying your truth. Not what you claim but what you actually do from moment to moment, from day to day.

From here, a consistent practice of embodying truth means that your individual purpose in the world can then create meaning within the broader scale of the universe, whatever that may look like. Who and where and what you’re meant to be becomes more clear. The people and experiences truly meant for you now have a path to be revealed. Your best self will always be your most authentic self, if only you’re brave enough to be it.

Let me know what you think.

With Love, V