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Love,
V
The words in the picture shown above and below were typed out by me two to three years ago. At the time, nothing written on that piece of paper was true. I was miserable at work and I knew I didn’t belong there. I was physically sick more often than not when before that job I only had one or two must-stay-at-home sick days a year. Something had to change.
The thing is I didn’t want to make the same choices that got me there in the first place. It’s true, I promote at all times that everything happens for a reason and my very Zen approach to life focuses on the belief that all is at it should be at any given moment no matter what. Most importantly, however, everything inside me at the time told me I wasn’t supposed to be there anymore. So what was I supposed to do from there?
Very much like when I grew up unhealthy, overweight, sedentary and almost twice the size I am now, there was always some part of me deep down that knew I wasn’t being me. I could often picture myself fairly slim and even had dreams of myself healthy and active but when I woke up in the morning and looked in the mirror I was shocked to see what I had ballooned up to or that going up a single flight of stairs would suddenly take the wind out of me. If I hadn’t stopped obsessing about everything that was “wrong” about me, I wouldn’t have taken the time to start visualizing my potential.
Every thought we have about ourselves, our lives, our relationships our careers creates what we have today—every bit of it. Not even a year into that job I found myself repeatedly expressing anger, frustration and every instance of agitation which only increased the stress I felt. I do believe venting is healthy and necessary, but what’s most important is that the worse it became the more it helped me to become aware of where I found myself and that I had to make a change. I was so miserable, though, that visualizing my life any differently was extremely difficult. I was angry and depressed all of the time so picturing myself happy was not an easy feat. That’s when I reverted back to what does work for me— writing.
I call them now “Create My New Reality Journals” but at the time it was just a way for me to describe how I personally wanted to think, feel and act every single day when I couldn’t have been farther from it. After my last divorce, I did the same thing with a journal describing a “new me” in my romantic life and a month later my now-husband suddenly appeared more clearly than anyone ever before—but that’s a story for another post!
Rather than focusing on thoughts like I should do this or that, I began to visualize through words what “this or that” actually looked like since I couldn’t really picture it in my head. I wanted to go bigger and broader and just have the ultimate sensation of what mattered to me most—joy, peace, passion, love and sharing that world with others. When I wrote that new reality, I liked it so much I transferred it from a scratch sheet of paper to writing it out in a formal journal. Then I knew I needed to read it more often so I typed it up and made three copies: one was taped up at my desk at work, one at my desk at home and the other was on my side of our bathroom mirror. Every day I read that entire sheet of paper to myself whenever I was in front of it and I started to see myself through it. Every day I got closer to stepping away from my reality at the time and today I can say that every single line on that piece of paper is absolutely true.
When I wrote it, I thought I was describing a new job—the career I was “supposed” to have developed for myself by this time in my life…but I could never have imagined or truly pictured that while some lines would refer to my day job now which I LOVE SO much, other lines refer to this life, the life of Healthy Living by V, the part of me who is able to do all of those things that I had hoped for but could never actually see.
It certainly didn’t happen overnight. In fact, from there I went on to another job that took me SO FAR out of my element that I was not myself at all for an entire year. But even though in SO many ways I could have seen it as “worse” than I ever had it before, it taught me SO MUCH about me and what I wanted and certainly what I never wanted again. So I don’t look back at any moment as a terrible time in my life anymore. In fact, without some of the people I met and worked with along the way no matter where I was, I wouldn’t have grown or appreciate all I do now. I have amazing friends and know some of the most wonderful people for whom I have the utmost respect, admiration and appreciation. I am so grateful for them all.
Ultimately, whenever I stopped judging others and myself and my world and my pain and my anger and I finally let it all go, I was able to begin creating the potential, the love, the joy and the happiness that was rightfully mine—as it is for all of us—this whole time.
Love,
V
As my schedule continues to change and I fill my days and weeks with more and more activities, I find that I’m making less time for things that I still truly enjoy. One of which was keeping my house clean and in order but I’ll keep working on that. The other is writing this blog which I am so passionate about but can take hours out of any day. Since I’m naturally long-winded I’m going to start focusing on one simple swap or adjustment that either continues to work for me or something new I’m willing to try and maybe we can work on one new change at a time together.
This week is going to be all about keeping this sweet tooth of mine in check. I’ve said it over and over that I’m no fan of deprivation. I just don’t believe in cutting out an indulgence because for me that often means a binge of said sweetness whenever my willpower is a little on the weaker side. I’m much more of a fan of making the best choices possible 80% of the time and allowing a bite or two of something here and there. But after the last several months I went way past “here and there” in the sweet department and now am having to readjust my habits, again.
So my quick adjustment for as long as I need to break that sweet tooth habit is to flank each desired indulgence with as many fruits as possible. The natural (water-based) source of sweet combined with the added benefits of vitamins, minerals, nutrients and fiber will gradually train my body to be satisfied with the good stuff and eventually crave it more. It has worked for me before and it’s starting to work for me again now. I’m armed with pieces of fruit at home, at the office and anywhere I go and if I see a piece of chocolate I really want to try or a cookie that I decide I don’t want to pass up before it goes the fruit and then after as well. I do this with my meals, too. It’s already starting to help adjust my cravings and I’m feeling much more in control which feels like such a relief after these last several months.
It’s my opinion that you can never have too many fruits–or vegetables, for that matter. It’s true that it would be taking in extra calories and sugar to eat fruit before and after everything else or even if you weren’t really hungry but compared to the alternative, I’m willing to take in that excess. Mostly because I’m trying to create a good habit which can’t be done by eliminating foods that we crave. I find my body responds much better by developing a new craving for a more nutritious option than to just cut out something it’s used to with no alternative for satisfaction.
If you have the same tendency as I do towards sweets try this tip out and let me know what you think! It takes at least a couple of weeks to create a new habit so stick with it and stay consistent and maybe we’ll revisit this one again next month. Cheers to healthy living!
Love,
V
Going through the last few weeks, I realized that I’m not alone in feeling a little bit stagnant in some of the changes I’ve been trying to make for myself this year. I have new goals and aspirations and I’m in a period of evaluation that I think others may relate to so let’s see if we can explore it together.
Excuses, excuses…that’s all they are.
The other day I heard myself telling someone “I just don’t have the time…” and it stopped me almost as soon as I said it. Let’s be honest, how accurate is that statement? Is it that I don’t have the time for whatever it was I was responding to or was it that I instinctively didn’t want to invest my time in that particular activity? The truth is, by a series of choices we make every day, we’ve found ourselves right where we are. Putting aside those unique obligations that may stretch us extremely thin from time to time, to say that we don’t have the time to eat well, exercise, rest when we need to, and so on comes down to how we choose to prioritize our needs.
No matter what we commit ourselves to the first step is always to be honest about it. We choose to get up for the job we’ve committed to…or we quit, we choose to be there for our family and friends…or we neglect them and we choose to either take care of ourselves however we can…or we don’t. Being aware of how we perceive our reality is the first place for us to make any change in our lives at all. Whatever our true priorities are, that’s where we invest ourselves and so I now realize it’s much more accurate to say “I choose to spend my [time, money, energy…] this way rather than that.” There’s no reason to judge our choices, just be honest about them. That way when we find a contradiction with what we say we want and what we continue to choose to do, then we know it’s time to take a step beyond the words and take a step towards action.
There’s no right or wrong way to start…just start somewhere.
For anyone who decides to create a new reality for themselves, where to start can be the hardest step and I am no exception. My current lifestyle didn’t happen overnight and how I started is certainly nothing like I live my life now. So in the beginning, I had to figure out what I could do and that meant being realistic about where I was and start to make small adjustments like cutting my meals in half, choosing water over all other drinks and maybe try a new workout video. With my current lifestyle, it means increasing my fruit and vegetable intake and making sure I always have a loaded supply of healthy snacks on hand wherever I am. It also means learning to incorporate lower impact cardio to balance out all of the strength and high impact activities I do as well as finding more time for periods of meditation to make sure I feed my spirit.
There are so many different methods to either cut out or incorporate new habits, not to mention different theories as to which approach works best but don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by it. The truth is there is no one perfect method because we’re all so different. We have different needs, different life experiences, different physical, mental and emotional make-ups and all we can do is be open to our potential and keep trying new things to see what works. Healthy living is a journey for us to create a lifestyle that brings out the best in us so be aware of what brings you joy versus what brings you down and just start taking the steps. Make them small enough to stay consistent because once you start even the smallest steps will be no less significant.
Everyone benefits from a challenge.
Taking my own advice of allowing the occasional indulgence and not depriving myself of “celebrations” throughout the holidays, I found myself struggling with getting back on track throughout the last several weeks and not just nutritionally, emotionally as well. The hardest part was trying not to judge myself for the slips that happened more often than intended but at the same time it gave me a chance to reinforce for myself that there is nothing to judge…ever. It is completely normal to slip, to fall, to hit a plateau, to feel discouraged. What’s most important, however, is that we recognize those are the BEST times for us to gain strength and empowerment by getting back up, starting over and trying again as often as we need. That’s what matters—not the slips and not the falls themselves no matter how long they last or how broken we feel, but the way we build ourselves back up because of that experience.
For me, some of the challenges I am currently going through are by choice. I recognized a need for myself to get back on track with some of my personal passions, activities and nutritional habits and am accepting various “challenges” through programs that best fit me and what I’d like to accomplish. For others, the challenges experienced feel like a giant black hole has been dumped into their lap but, again, I encourage all of us to embrace these moments as our best opportunities for growth. Choosing that perspective rather than judging it or comparing it to where we think we should be can mean all the difference in the world we create for ourselves. Regardless of your current state or struggles, welcome the challenge and hang on tight. Believe in them and believe in yourself and know that with every step forward you take, you truly are better than you were the day before.
Love,
V
