Several years ago, before writing my first book, I was teaching a workshop on the chakra system. We arrived at the fifth energy point, the throat chakra, where creativity, expression, and truth live. Teaching about the wisdom of the body relative to this area, I brought up how and when emotions may surface when a student said out loud, “but emotions lie to you.” This comment, said with such matter-of-factness, truly gave me pause. I realized in that moment, the disconnect so many have in regards to one’s emotional body and why so many struggle with even the idea of emotional healing today.

Consider this: If that is your held belief, then any emotion you feel can no longer be trusted. The feeling of joy or happiness becomes fleeting and transient. The feeling of sadness, fear, or anger becomes something to push aside until it “goes away.” No wonder so many lose touch with who they are–a fundamental part of them isn’t even allowed to fully exist, let alone ever be expressed.

When we learn to practice Yoga, we recognize this as a spiritual misalignment. We learn that aligning with our truth exists within the wisdom of our physical, emotional, and energetic bodies, if only we allow the fluctuations of our mind to still. Creative expression lives within this energy point because creative activities have the ability to tap into something deep within us, not dependent on outside acceptance, motivation, or validation.

That mental chatter that arises when difficult, painful, or uncomfortable emotions surface, tell us stories about how we’re feeling, often accompanied by some form of judgement or criticism of ourselves and others. Then we get swept away by a narrative that urges us to deny, defend, distract, or complain and on and on and on. In other words, it’s not our emotions that tend to lie to us, but actually our thoughts.

My counterargument to my former student’s comment isn’t just that emotions don’t lie, it’s that the whole purpose of our emotions are to reveal to us our truth. We have them for a reason and we are meant to feel them. No one else can tell you how you feel so there is nothing more uniquely true for you than that. But if you aren’t willing to see what’s actually happening beneath the surface of that feeling, no one and nothing outside of you can truly help you either.

If we stripped ourselves from the habitual mental chatter that tends to accompany such discomfort all we would be left with is who we are, in that moment. No one and nothing else to blame, just us and whatever experiences brought us there. For some, this is the scariest truth of all which is why layers and layers of distractions are often preferred. Rather than seeing ourselves clearly, we choose to believe we should just be happy already, or that we’re not ready to go deeper, or maybe it’s just too hard and we won’t be able to handle it. But there is a reason we get to a point that living this way is no longer fulfilling; it’s inauthentic to who we are and we’re tired of keeping up the facade.

If any of this speaks to you and you’re open to trying something new, I encourage you to see this simply as a skill that can be developed, little by little over time. It’s no different than building a muscle. Before you begin lifting weights, you don’t start off with the heaviest weight imaginable and expect to pick it up with ease. That would be irresponsible and actually difficult, not to mention dangerous. Instead, you understand to start really small, with the lightest weight possible; maybe so light that it doesn’t even feel like you’re “doing anything” yet. Then, over time and with consistent, steady practice, your body will adapt and you can move up from there.

When something small happens, challenge yourself to see it clearly. Practice challenging your thoughts rather than your emotions. Choose to pause, reflect, and recognize the perspectives that perpetuate your current patterns so you can look for a perspective that is more helpful, more supportive, more true. This alignment of your whole self is an essential building block to how you shift from barely surviving to truly thriving.

Pause, reflect, and rephrase whenever you can. Make time for creative activities that feel nourishing and nurturing to the deepest parts of your soul. Let go of the chatter that stops you from reading, writing, drawing, painting, coloring, molding, sculpting, designing, building, singing, dancing, and creating. These are the lightest weights you can possibly lift. It can be that simple. Start small in your attempt to build your practice of emotional healing. Simply do your best, and work from there.

Let me know how it goes.

With Love, V