I began writing Thirty Years Without You with a very specific intention in mind. It is a platform for me to reconnect with my dad while allowing others in. It is a chance to share with him the most significant, and in some ways the most mundane, reflections I have today before, during, and after our time with him. It is a tool for me to explore the grief I’ve experienced with the one whose opinion of that particular subject I care about the most. It is communicating with my dad in the way that I feel we used to at one point, before adolescence and depression launched me into a self-inflicted, emotionally and spiritually solitary existence. It is all of these things and maybe more, but to me there is one thing for sure that it is not: This is not a memoir.

It’s true that Thirty Years provides a window into a portion of my life for those interested in getting to know me better. Of all the things this book is, it’s difficult not to share some parts of ourselves along the way as they make up the whole. But it only includes those fragments most relevant to who I am today born out of loss and my identity as a Daddy’s Girl, Pouting Princess, Daughter of Immigrants, Ading of Manongs I adore, Asian American Girl, First Generation Filipina American who became a teacher, mentor, and guide to help others as much as I can.

My most elemental hope is that Thirty Years stirs the deepest, darkest, depths within the souls of my readers. Those who already know me as a teacher know that this is where, I believe, one is able to begin healing. Too often do we resist such intense, essential movement of energy within us. Witnessing my own healing journey through this conversation with my dad who, I believe with my whole heart, could have benefited himself from such a practice, may be the first time a reader receives the permission to truly break down those walls built up over time out of survival. May we all let go of barely living, hiding from ourselves and others, waiting for the next tragedy, the next failure, the next storm on the horizon. May we strive to blossom, to bloom, to see ourselves clearly, to live our truth, to love, to connect, and to trust in our own ability to truly thrive in this lifetime, not just survive.

It has been just over one month since publication and the feedback and responses have already spanned a wide range. I am full of excitement to dive into more conversations with those interested in connecting with me about whatever came up for them when reading this book. If you are one of those readers, please reach out. Let’s chat.

With Love, V